Click here for Dating sites that work We’ll tell you why online dating doesn’t work for most guys - &, how to fix your approach! Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work For Most Guys (And What To Do About It) If you're like many guys, it's not for lack of trying. You probably spend countless hours every week clicking through profiles and messaging attractive women on dating sites and apps. You get a response every now and again, but rarely from anyone you actually want to date. Even worse, you’ve been ghosted so many times your bros have started calling you Casper. You’re totally over Tinder and whichever other dating app it was that you tried last week. Isn’t it just better to hang out in the produce aisle and ask women how to tell if a cantaloupe is ripe? At least then you’re pretty much guaranteed to get some kind of response, right? Exclusive Bonus: Download our 5 favorite conversation starters to get immediate response from attractive women. Don’t worry –, you’re not alone in your angst. It's not uncommon to feel like dating sites don't work for men. A full third of guys who try online dating sites and apps never go on a single date. And that’s despite spending 5.2 hours a week looking at profiles, then another 6.7 hours sending out messages. That adds up to around 12 hours a week , all in hopes of scoring a date that lasts approx. 1.8 hours. Why online dating doesn't work for many guys: Men tend to outnumber women, so the odds aren't stacked in your favor. Matching algorithms aren't very effective. You're doing it wrong. Some combination of those reasons is likely the source of your frustration, so let's take a closer look at each problem. Problem #1: Tons of men compete for the hottest women. Most dating sites and apps have more men than women, which means the most attractive women get bombarded with messages. The competition’s absolutely fierce. Problem #2: It's hard to quantify compatibility. Matching algorithms don’t work because they typically rely on information that’s easily quantifiable online, such as behavioral traits and simple beliefs. But how do you quantify chemistry on a dating site? Face to face interaction is the only way to see if sparks fly between the two of you. Plus, predicting compatibility in long-term relationships is almost impossible because success is in part determined by how a couple deals with life’s stresses, both big and small. Problem #3: Trying hard doesn't equal having a strategy. Odds are excellent if you don't have a game plan firmly in hand, you're probably going about it all wrong. Even the slightest misstep can destroy your chances, and you’re making a number of mistakes. The hotter a woman is, the more messages she receives –, and the pickier she has to become. She doesn’t have time to talk to everyone, so she’s forced to make split second decisions regarding who’s worthy of her time. In fact, some studies have found the average reply rate for women is less than 20%. Which means if she has the slightest reason to eliminate you from the running, she will. That’s why you can never seem to attract the caliber of women you really want to meet. So those are your three main problems, and we'll get to the solutions in a minute. But first, let's make sure you're not committing one of these all-too-common online dating mistakes. 4 Big Online Dating Mistakes (You're Probably Making) Mistake #1: Not understanding what makes an attractive online dating photo . If your primary photo doesn't immediately connect with her in a positive way, she likely won't bother looking at anything else in your profile before swiping left. Mistake #2: Turning her off with a cringe-worthy username. On Plenty Of Fish (POF), one of the most popular free dating sites, your username is all over the place. Most notably in her search results and in her inbox. If it’s not attractive and enticing, you’re sunk. Mistake #3: Half-assing your dating profile . Whether she’s looking for a husband or a hookup, she wants some sort of reassurance you’re taking online dating seriously. Why would she return a message from a guy who can’t even summon the effort to answer a few basic profile questions? Mistake #4: Sending her a lame icebreaker . Attractive women get absolutely bombarded with messages from guys just like you on dating sites and apps. If you’re sending her the same boring variation of “hi there” as all those other guys, don’t hold your breath for a response. As Aziz Ansari noted in his book, Modern Romance , men spend way too much time focusing on the “online” part of online dating . Scrolling through profiles, doggedly churning out message after message to the attractive women they want to date. The good news is perseverance eventually pays off. The bad news is the average guy has to send out a whopping 114 messages to be guaranteed 1 response. So in a nutshell: You have to spend a ton of time messaging women online to even get the chance to start a message exchange that leads to meeting her offline. But you’re probably committing at *least* one of the above mentioned mistakes so your response rate sucks, requiring you to send out more messages. Vicious cycle anyone? It’s no wonder you’re stuck in a perpetual loop of frustration, tedium and loneliness. Let’s Talk About Solutions… Basically all a guy like you has to do is instantly grab her attention in a memorable way with both your profile and your messages, then spend the least amount of time possible convincing her to meet you in person. Hey, we never said it was an easy solution. Being successful at online dating is the same as being successful at anything –, it takes practice and effort. So much effort that a lot of men outsource their online dating. Think of it this way –, if your car needs new brakes, you could watch a YouTube video and then do it yourself. But you’ve got a guy for that. Why get your hands dirty when it’s so much quicker and easier to bring in an expert? Modern dating is no different. A virtual dating assistant does the hard part for you. The profile writing, the photo selection, the tedious back and forth messaging. Literally all you do is show up for the dates. So that’s solution #1: Bring in an online dating expert . For all you DIY’ers out there who don’t mind spending that 12 hours a week on dating sites and apps, solution #2 is this: Minimize the time you spend online while maximizing the number of dates you get. Here’s how to make that happen in 5 steps. Get ready to take some notes… How To Make Online Dating Work In 5 Steps. Step #1: Drop Your Line In The Right Pond. If you want to save time and frustration, focus your efforts on the sites and apps that best fit your circumstances. Here are the dating websites and apps we’ve gotten the best overall results for our clients on here at VIDA: “Seriousness” of Users Score (1-10): 2. The most popular dating app in the US, Tinder is the go-to choice for the younger set. If you’re a guy under 25, you should be on it. But you'll find singles in their 30s, 40s and beyond using it as well, so it's worth the download to check out the singles near you. The majority of users live in larger cities, but since it’s location based it makes sense to try it even if you live in a more remote area. “Seriousness” of Users Score (1-10): 8. Match.com is one of the most recognizable names in online dating, and it has the huge user base to prove it. It’s a paid site, but the monthly subscription fee weeds out the fakes and flakes. Most of the women on it are serious about meeting someone, so it’s a good place to spend your time. “Seriousness” of Users Score (1-10): 6. Similar to Tinder, Bumble is a swipe-based app. But it has one unique feature –, only women can initiate contact. You’ll need strong photos to get her swiping right. The dating pool isn’t as large as what you’ll find on Tinder, but Bumble is the second most popular dating app in the US and it attracts high-quality women who are serious about finding a relationship. “Seriousness” of Users Score (1-10): 9. Hinge is one of the fastest growing apps in Match Group's dating portfolio, and it's squarely aimed at users seeking serious relationships. It's been around for awhile, and was redesigned a few years back with millennial singles in mind. Does facebook dating work on android Best dating site for working professionals Dating sites that actually work
