Click here for How to enjoy being single after divorce They've spent virtually no time alone in so long, that being with the wrong person is almost easier than being by themselves. Being Alone After Divorce: Why It's Okay and Tips on How to Enjoy It. Many people who get divorced are so used to being married, that being with someone is all they know. They've spent virtually no time alone in so long, that being with the wrong person is almost easier than being by themselves. Creator, Divorced Girl Smiling. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. I often wonder why so many people jump into serious relationships or get married quickly after a divorce. I hear about people who announce their engagement just weeks after their divorce was final and it's baffling. But, I think I figured out one of the biggest reasons people rush into relationships: fear of being alone after divorce. Many people who get divorced are so used to being married, that being with someone is all they know. They've spent virtually no time alone in so long, that being with the wrong person is almost easier than being by themselves. I can tell you firsthand that being alone after divorce is very scary, isolating, and lonely. It stinks, actually. But, once you learn how to be comfortable being alone after divorce, you get a gift: an empowering, independent feeling that brings reflection, peace, self-confidence, and self-love. Here are my tips on how to be alone after a divorce: 1. Stop worrying about being alone : Am I going to be alone when I'm 70?" I used to ask my sister that question, and I worried about being alone constantly. Then I realized, who cares?? I'm alone now. So what? I was alone before I was married, and I was fine with it. Time to get back into that mindset. Not to mention, if you have kids, you will never really be alone. And if you don't have kids, you will never be alone if you have family and friends who love you. 2. Get a hobby or develop yours more: When I was going through a divorce, my writing hobby became obsessive. Every time I felt sad or depressed or angry or scared, I wrote about it. I ended up writing 3 novels in 2 years. It was crazy! But, I view that as a good thing. Delve into something you love and you will be fulfilled and happy, and too focused to think about the fact that you are alone. 3. Try new things : I have mentioned her in other blogs, but I can't resist talking about a dear friend of mine who after 27 years of marriage found herself separated, her ex madly in love with the woman he left her for. My friend fell apart for awhile, and then she got it together. She has been to Spain, Israel, Italy, France and China, she's run a marathon and done all kinds of other cool things. She has so many loving friends and family, she can't even count them all. She's still single. And guess what? I asked her this very question. "Do you ever feel alone?" She replied, "Never." 4. Never say no to plans: Scenario: A guy asks you out that you are not attracted to, so you decline. This is wrong! What's wrong with having a new friend? It could lead to more friends, and maybe another guy. Plus, he might be interesting or smart, or he may teach you something. Go, go, go!! Also, "I'm too tired" should not be in your vocabulary! The thing is, you may not want to do something that you were invited to go do, but you will never meet anyone staying home, so get out of your house! 5. Start having people over : Buy a couple bottles of wine, some gourmet cheese and crackers, pick up the phone and invite some girls over. (For guys, make it beer and grill some burgers). You'd be surprised at how many people will be delighted to get your invitation. Then, after the first party, start cooking a little bit. Your parties will get more and more elaborate and more fun. Entertaining in your home can be really enjoyable and makes you feel hospitable! Hosts are happy people! 6. Do your job better: Remember the movie City Slickers? How to enjoy being single after divorce
