The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 20 I see the terror in his eyes. “No. Not both of my daughters.” “Mr. MacAllister. I can protect Bleu. And Ellison.” “In exchange for what?” He’s suspicious of my motives, as he should be. “Bleu’s hand in marriage.” “Never!” “I’m pledging my life to your daughter’s safety and happiness. You know who I am so I’m certain you understand that as my wife, no one can harm Bleu. It’s Fellowship code—something none of us dare violate. The grace of safety our marriage will provide also blankets Ellison because she’s Bleu’s family. My uncle will be forced to call off his order to execute Bleu the moment I tell him we’ve married.” “Are you here to ask for my blessing?” “Yes, sir. That’s exactly why I’ve come.” “You’re asking me to be okay with my daughter marrying the leader of a criminal organization. How does a father give his blessing for something like that?” he asks. “You give it because you love your daughter and want her to be safe and happy.” “And you believe being married to you will make her happy?” He’s not convinced so I need to change his mind. “I proposed to Bleu two days ago and she said yes. We spent all day yesterday preparing for our wedding tomorrow.” He’s hurt. I see it in his eyes. “She’s going to marry you tomorrow without telling me?” “Yes. But only because she believes you won’t approve. She doesn’t want you to be disappointed with her for marrying me.” “I will never be all right with her marrying into a family of criminals.” I must make him understand how things will be for Bleu as my wife. “Bleu will never be tainted by my business or The Fellowship. I swear this to you.” “She’ll live among you. It’s not possible for her to not be touched by your criminal activities.” He may need reminding that Bleu isn’t coming into our marriage untainted. She’s no angel. “Bleu came into my life because she had made the decision to commit murder. She came to kill my dad for a crime he didn’t commit.” “And what has become of that? Your father—the leader of The Fellowship—couldn’t have possibly forgotten her motive for infiltrating your organization. He must be as eager as your uncle to get rid of her.” He’s wrong. “Not at all. Bleu was mistaken about Dad being her mother’s killer. He loved Amanda Lawrence very much so Bleu holds a dear place in his heart. He wants to protect her. She’s in good standing with my father.” “She would have Thane’s protection as well?” “Yes. My parents are quite fond of Bleu, as are the other members of The Fellowship.” With the exception of Abram. “She was initiated into the brotherhood months ago. They welcomed her with open arms. None of the members, not even my uncle, know about her plot to kill my father. I’ve told no one.” “You would keep that secret from your family and the people you are most loyal to so she would remain safe?” “Absolutely. I’ll always do what I must to protect her.” “Do you know who killed Amanda?” “Not yet. But I promised Bleu I would help her find out.” It’s a promise she’ll hold me to. “There’s no way it wasn’t one of your people or someone tied to you.” I don’t like his theory but it holds water. “I agree.” “She’s a good detective. She isn’t going to stop until she finds out who he is.” “Aye. You’re right.” “I know my daughter well. When she figures out which Fellowship member is her mother’s killer, she’ll go after him. She won’t stop until he’s dead. That puts her in danger, regardless of her position as your wife.” Again, he’s right. The Fellowship won’t let the death of one of our own go unpunished. “They won’t hesitate to kill her.” He stares at me intently. “But they’d never consider killing you—their leader.” I understand where he’s going with this. “You’re asking me to approve of your union with my daughter. There’s only one way that’ll happen. Give me your word as a Fellowship member that you’ll be the one to take out the man who killed her mother. I’ll give you my blessing to marry my daughter, that is if marriage is what she wants.” This is a good move for Harold MacAllister. He sees my marriage to Bleu for what it is—something completely out of his control. It’s going to happen with or without his approval so he’s making the most of it. He’s a dying man preying upon my code of honor to ensure his daughter’s safety. I respect that. “I swear on my honor that I will be the one to carry out penance against Amanda Lawrence’s killer. Bleu won’t have a part in it.” “You should expect that to be a fight. She’ll want to be the one to do it.” “I expect nothing less than a battle out of her, but you have my word.” “I believe you. But I need to talk to my daughter before I give you my blessing. And judging by the number of times your phone has buzzed, she should be arriving any minute.” He’s right. It’s been a near constant vibration against my chest since the moment Ellison walked out the door. That means she called Bleu immediately.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 21 I’m imagining her in the car freaking out on the drive here. I hope she doesn’t have one of her fits. She thinks she lied her way out of it but that was no dream I witnessed in Edinburgh. I know a PTSD attack when I see one. They aren’t pretty. And that’s something we’ll need to get out in the open soon. “Maybe you should call her to say all is well so she isn’t distracted on the drive here.” He’s her father so naturally he’s concerned for her safety. “She won’t be behind the wheel. My men will drive her. She’s never out of our sight.” The door bursts open a few minutes later. Bleu is breathless and pale. She looks back and forth between her father and me. “Someone tell me what’s happening here.” Harold lifts his hand and motions for Bleu to sit on his bed. “Come here, girlie girl.” Bleu shoots daggers in my direction as she crosses the floor. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t just drop dead, I’d be six feet under. “Mr. Breckenridge. I need a moment alone with my daughter, please.” “Of course.” I open the door and come face to face with Ellison doing her best to eavesdrop—apparently unsuccessful since she didn’t hear her father’s request for me to step out. “Hello again.” “Hello.” I lean against the wall. “I’m Sinclair Breckenridge.” “I gathered as much.” She offers her hand. “I suppose it’s safe to assume you know who I am.” “Aye, I do.” She leans against the opposite wall, arms crossed. She’s staring me down. “You have my sister flipping the fuck out.” “I gathered as much.” “What the hell have you done?” She’s wearing a huge grin. “I’ve never seen my sister so out of control. She’s acting like a lunatic.” I don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t. “Long story. Probably best for you to ask her.” “Maybe so, but I’m asking you instead. Bleu isn’t exactly forthcoming. Especially when it comes to her emotions.” “I’m fairly certain her feelings are ones of anger right now, based on the look she was giving me as I left the room.” “Good. Bleu needs someone to piss her off. At least it’s a reaction.” I think she may be suggesting Bleu is unfeeling but I don’t see her in that light at all. “You came all the way from Scotland to see her?” “Aye.” “Is that because you love her?” “I do. Very much.” I’m not in a place where I want to discuss my relationship with Ellison. That’s for Bleu to explain so I decide it’s best to steer the conversation in a different direction. “Bonny tells me you’re a nurse?” “Bonny?” I laugh. “It means beautiful.” “Shit! I may swoon.” She shakes her head and laughs. “Sorry. Yes, I am a nurse.” “Your medical knowledge must be an asset with your father being ill.” “I’m not so sure. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know what was happening.” Her face looks pained. “I envy Bleu’s inability to see the reality.” “How much longer do you think he has?” “Not long. Maybe a week. Tops.” Bonny is going to be a mess. But she’ll have me to help her through her loss. “Will you tell her?” “No. I can’t bring myself to do it.” Ellison shakes her head. “Those two are thick as thieves. You should probably know that she isn’t going to do well when he goes.” Ellison and I discuss Harold MacAllister’s health until Bleu opens the door. Her eyes are swollen. Her face, red and blotchy. “He wants to see us together.” “Good luck, dude,” Ellison says. I follow Bleu into Harold’s room, shutting the door behind me. I want to reach for my Bonny Bleu’s hand but I’m afraid it isn’t wise. She’s angry with me. I see it all over her face. I will have a lot of explaining to do when we leave. “My daughter is very unhappy with you right now, Mr. Breckenridge.” “I never dreamed she wouldn’t be.” I look at her. “But it’s my greatest hope she’ll understand the reason behind my action. And maybe eventually agree it was the only honorable and right thing to do.” “I don’t know if you’ll get that out of her.” Harold MacAllister laughs. “Regardless of her anger and despite the hit your uncle has issued, she tells me she’s in love with you and wants to be your wife.” I’m very pleased to know Bonny has declared her feelings for me to her father. Another step in the right direction. “Bleu insisted on infiltrating The Fellowship and it didn’t go as planned. That’s a good thing considering she was going after the wrong man. I’m not happy about Bleu becoming part of The Fellowship. But it is what it is—the next sin, you could say. Your offer of marriage is a solution. According to her, she couldn’t love you more so falling in love was a happy coincidence. I can die in peace knowing my little girl will be in your care. I’m giving you my approval.” Perfect. I have Harold MacAllister’s blessing. All I need now is his daughter’s forgiveness. * * * I’ve fucked up big time—twice—in a day and a half. Not the best way to begin our marriage.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 22 Bleu hasn’t said a single word to me during the ride to her house. I’m not sure if that’s because she’s choosing to not speak to me or because she doesn’t wish to argue in front of Sterling. Either way, I’m certain I’ll catch hell as soon as we’re alone. I don’t want Bonny to be angry with me. I need her to understand the reason I felt compelled to speak with her father while I still could. Once we’re inside, Bleu stomps to her bedroom. I follow her so we can talk but she slams the door in my face. Click—the sound of her locking the door between us. I hope she isn’t under the illusion that will stop me from coming in. She’ll need more than this flimsy rectangle to keep us apart. I rap lightly on the hollow door. “Bonny. We need to talk.” No answer. I tap a little more firmly. “You know I’m not going anywhere so you might as well let me in.” Still nothing so I jiggle the handle. “We are going to discuss this. I’d prefer we didn’t do it after I break down the door.” The lock pops. I turn the knob and let myself in. She’s standing in the middle of her bedroom, hands on hips. “You’re a complete jackass. I’m so damn mad at you right now!” She picks up a picture frame from her bedside table and throws it at me. I narrowly dodge being hit in the head. “You’re such a selfish bastard.” Oh hell. She’s really mad. We’ve never gone head to head but I’m fully aware that Bleu is no delicate flower. She could probably kick my ass under the right circumstances. Judging by her reaction, it’s probably a good idea for me to be prepared for such. “You already knew I was a selfish bastard. This isn’t news for you.” “Dammit! You had no right to go to my father without my consent!” she yells. “We both know you would’ve never agreed to me seeing him.” This was one of those instances where it was easier to obtain forgiveness than permission. Although right now, I’m questioning the whole forgiveness thing. “That’s right. And for good reason.” “Aye. You’re right to call me a selfish bastard because I am. I went to your father because I didn’t care for the way it made me feel to know I was taking you as my wife behind his back. But I also did it for the two of you.” “How can you claim this was about anything but you? I plainly told you I didn’t want him to know, but you just had to go and be the tyrant you always are and do things your way.” She’s so angry, she’s refusing to acknowledge the outcome my visit accomplished. “Your father approved of our marriage, Bonny. Isn’t that what you wanted? Aren’t you happy about that?” “It’s what you wanted. Not me. I never wanted him to find out.” Oh, she’s going to be a hard-ass on this one. “Aye. I wanted his blessing but don’t you have contentment in him knowing about us and approving of our union before he’s gone?” “I don’t know. I can’t feel any kind of satisfaction or happiness because I’m so pissed at you.” Did I go too far? “Are you considering backing out?” “I don’t know what I’m doing.” I’m not going to lose her over this. “Think about it. Your father will die knowing I’m taking you and Ellison into my care. He knows you’ll have someone protecting you after he’s gone. It’s a terrible burden lifted from his mind. He can be at peace where you and Ellison are concerned. Can you please try to see the good in what I’ve done?” I take a step toward her but she puts her hand up. It’s my cue to not come closer. “It’s hard for me to see the good for all the selfishness involved.” My motives weren’t only self-driven. “Your father’s blessing is a gift I wanted you to have. His approval means he and your sister can be part of our wedding ceremony. You get to have your family present when we make our vows.” She’s barely made mention of her family not being present at our wedding, but I know how much she longs for them to be a part of it. “Dad’s too sick to leave, even for my wedding.” “Then we’ll be married in his hospital room. I’m sure we can find an officiant to perform the ceremony at the hospice center.” When I see a change in her expression, I move toward her. She doesn’t stop me this time. “That is if it pleases my wife-to-be.” There it is. That smile I’m desperate to see. “Yes. It pleases your wife-to-be very much.” What a relief. “I’m very glad.” “I love you so I’m going to give you a forewarning. Don’t go behind my back like that ever again. I can promise you with one hundred percent accuracy that it will cause major problems in our marriage if you do.” “Got it.” I can’t make a promise to never do it again so I voice my understanding instead of an agreement. I’m certain there will be occasions when I won’t tell Bleu the whole truth, and it will always be with good reason. I will never purposely hurt her. “Know this, Bleu. I will always do what I must for your happiness and well-being. That’s something you can always trust without fail.” Chapter Seven Bleu MacAllister I didn’t like how Sin went behind my back—and although I’ll never admit it to him—he was right about going to my father. Which means I was wrong. I couldn’t see it last night because I was blinded by rage. Everything looked different to me in the light of day, even more so when I walked into the living room this morning and saw Sin crunched up on the sofa.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 23 I looked at him drooling on the pillow beneath his head and it all came full circle for me. I realized that although he pisses me off beyond all recognition at times, this is the man I want to wake next to for the rest of my life—drool and all. Now I’m standing here facing Sin in my family’s presence and I couldn’t be happier. This wouldn’t be happening with my dad’s and Ellison’s presence if Sin hadn’t gone against my wishes. I love him all the more for that. No gown with a train. No veil. No organ music or church full of flowers surrounded by friends and family. I didn’t think it was possible for this to feel like a wedding but I was wrong. I’m marrying the man I love with my father and sister present. I have everything I need. Today’s suit choice is platinum with a cream and lavender pinstriped shirt. Sin’s tie is a paisley print—silver, lavender, and peach. I can’t fathom how in the world he found one in those colors on such short notice. His boutonnière on his lapel is a tiny miniature of my bridal bouquet, the spray of flowers the only thing distinguishing him from looking the way he does any other time. And that’s fine by me. He’s handsome every single day. “Who gives this woman?” the officiant asks. “Her sister and I,” my father answers from his hospital bed. I giggle inside because Ellison insisted my dad include her in the giving of the bride. I’d probably do the same if it were her marrying. Vow writing has been the last thing on my mind so Sin and I will be using the ones provided by the chaplain—whatever they are. “Repeat after me.” Sin squeezes my hands as he says, “I, Liam Sinclair Breckenridge, take you, Stella Bleu MacAllister, to be my lover and mother of my children.” He stops at the mention of children. He sees me fighting tears and leans over to kiss the side of my face. He whispers in my ear, “No worries, Bonny. I’m going to do everything within my power to give you babies.” He straightens and clears his voice to continue his vows. “I love what I know of you and trust what I’ve yet to learn. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.” I believe what Sin has just said to me. Every. Word. I repeat the same vows and nearly lose it again when I get to the part about children. He squeezes and rubs his thumbs over the tops of my hands to reassure me. No worries. That’s what he said. I finish my vows, truly meaning each and every word. We exchange rings and I’m nearly floored when I see my wedding band for the first time. I can’t believe I didn’t ask to see it before. In combination with my engagement ring, it’s huge—ridiculously so. And I love it. No one will ever mistake me for an unmarried woman. He’s made sure of it. “You may kiss your bride.” We lean in and softly brush our lips. No tongue. That would just be weird in front of my dad and sister. I’ve never had a boyfriend so they’ve never witnessed me so much as hold hands with a man. “And so it’s done. You’re my wife, Mrs. Breckenridge. No backing out now.” I’m in too deep for that but I wouldn’t dare try, even if it were a possibility. Elli is all smiles as she claps. That’s because my sister doesn’t know who Sin is. She has no idea what kind of man I’ve just married. She comes to me. “Congratulations. I knew you wouldn’t have a wedding cake so I brought white-on-white cupcakes.” She goes to the closet and takes out a Gigi’s cupcake box and a large green bottle. “But more importantly, I brought champagne!” “Thank you, Elli. Everything happened so fast, I didn’t consider anything like that.” She pops the top and pours for everyone. Even Dad. “A sip won’t hurt.” “A sip, hell. I’m having as much as I want, little lady. It’s not every day my girlie girl gets married.” Ellison is snapping pictures one after another—she’s my photographer today. “Drink from each other’s glasses.” We do as instructed and she gives us a plastic knife from the cafeteria. “Time to cut the cake.” “It’s a cupcake. I don’t think it needs cutting.” “Humor me.” I place the knife on top of the mile-high frosting. Sin wraps his hand around mine and together we glide it downward. I giggle. What we’re doing feels silly—but fun—so I can’t resist swiping my finger through the frosting and smearing it across Sin’s face. “I see how you want to play.” “Ahh!” I step away and look at Harry. “Daddy. Help.” “Don't look at me,” he laughs. It’s the first real smile I’ve seen out of him in weeks. Sin prowls toward me until my back is against the wall. “Come here, sweet wife.” I’m doomed. I have nowhere to go so I grin and prepare for what comes next. Sin doesn’t disappoint. He kisses me, smearing white icing all over the lower portion of my face. I grab a napkin and go into the bathroom to survey the damage. “You messed up my makeup,” I call out. He comes into the bathroom and stands behind me, looking at my reflection. “You didn’t need it anyway. You’re beautiful without it.” “Dad is spent. Today’s events were a lot for him. I think we should go so he can rest.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 24 “Whatever you want is fine by me.” As we clean our mess, Ellison holds up the box of leftover cupcakes. “Take these with you. You might have some fun with them later.” “Fun with cupcakes?” I’m not sure I want her to elaborate on that. She laughs and shrugs. “Get a little bit creative and you can have fun with anything.” “Sure.” Why not? I look at Dad to make sure he isn’t paying attention to us. “He isn’t doing well,” I whisper. “He tires easily.” I remember the nature of this beast. It takes and takes without giving anything in return. “He won’t last much longer, will he?” I say the words, immediately wishing I hadn’t. “Never mind. I don’t want to know the answer to that.” Elli stops and grasps my arm. “You shouldn’t take a long honeymoon if you want to be here when he goes.” “Then the end is closer than I thought.” “Dad hides a lot from us. I go along with it, pretending I don’t know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t fool me.” Sin and I haven’t discussed a honeymoon, but there’s no way I can go anywhere with my dad in this condition. “I’m going to be here for him. We’re not going anywhere.” We say our goodbyes and get stopped by congratulators no fewer than a dozen times on the way out. I think Dad’s nurse, Marge, must’ve told every person in the building about our wedding in my dad’s room. We get into the black sedan Sin has spent too much time in over the last few weeks. “Sterling. Mrs. Breckenridge and I need a moment of privacy, please.” My new husband pulls me close and kisses me like crazy. I’m lightheaded, drunk off his lips. And I want more, so much more. “I’ve been dying to do that since I listened to you say your vows.’” “It was a turn-on, huh?” “Aye.” “More so than my initiation ceremony?” “Absolutely. So much so that I think I want to kiss you like that again.” When he’s finished, he holds my face with his hands. “I have a very important call to make.” Sin takes his phone from his jacket. With my hand in his, he brings it to his mouth for a kiss as he waits for Abram to answer. “I love you so much, Bonny. Thank you for marrying me.” He straightens in his seat and clears his throat. “Aye, Uncle. All is well. I’ve found her.” I listen intently to the one-sided conversation. Dammit. I can guess at the things Abram is saying based on Sin’s replies, but I wish I could hear for myself what the psychopath is saying. “No. I didn’t kill Bleu. I married her instead, so I’ll be needing you to call off the hit on my wife.” I put my hands over my mouth and giggle beneath my breath while imagining the fit that damn evil bastard must be having. “Tell Uncle Abram I said hello,” I say. Sin grins and takes the phone away from his mouth. “You’re so bad,” he whispers. He places a quick kiss on my lips before returning to his call. “No, Abram. As my wife, Bleu is protected under Fellowship code. ‘You must never violate the wife or children of another member.’ Contravene our code and you will face the consequences.” Based on my studies, the ramifications could include anything from a physical penance to the death penalty, depending upon the degree of the offense committed. My husband is protecting me. And it’s fucking hot. I twist in my seat and move over to straddle Sin. I loosen his tie and open the top of his shirt. I kiss the dip at his throat and move my mouth up his neck until I reach that sensitive spot below his ear. He moves his free hand to my lower back and pulls me close. “Dad already knows, Abram, as well as Mum. They are quite fond of Bleu and were very pleased to know she would be their daughter-in-law.” He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again. “We’ll discuss all of that when I return to Edinburgh—with my new wife. Goodbye.” He ends the call and tosses his phone on the seat next to us. “That went as well as I expected.” “I assume the psychopath is unhappy?” I can’t not laugh. “Aye. He’s demanding a lot of explanations but he forgets his place. He has no right to challenge anything I say or do.” “And yet he does.” “My father has put up with his tyrannical behavior for years. He chooses to pacify his brother but I will not tolerate him.” He sighs. “And that, my sweet bonny one, is going to cause problems. Big ones. Especially since I’ve finished my traineeship.” “Let me guess. He’s feeling threatened?” “Aye.” He runs his hands up my back. “Maybe it’s time I consider taking my rightful place and knocking Abram out of his leadership role.” No. It’s too soon. I want to have Sin to myself—if only for a while longer—before I have to share him. “I really need to not talk about this or The Fellowship right now. Can we make tonight about us?” “Tonight is about nothing but us.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. He tugs on my bottom lip with his mouth. “And if I’m not mistaken, we have a marriage to consummate.” “Yes. I believe you’re right.” He taps me on my bottom so I move off his lap to my seat. I straighten my dress while he lowers the window. “Sterling. Please take my wife and I to The Peabody Hotel.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 25 * * * Memphis isn’t Edinburgh. It’s not spilling over with luxury hotels but The Peabody is a perfect place to spend our wedding night. It’s classic southern elegance at its best. Sin opens the door and follows me into the living room of the presidential suite. “Oh wow. This is beautiful.” “You’ve never been inside?” “No. I’ve lived in Memphis my whole life but I’ve never been any farther than the lobby and convention hall.” “They offer a Romeo and Juliet suite but this one is better.” He takes his jacket off and tosses it across the arm of the sofa. “It came highly recommended by your sister as well as the Brazilian steakhouse on the corner.” “Ellison loves that place.” “You don’t?” “I like the food but I got sick both times I ate there. In their defense, it was probably my meds causing me to feel nauseated, rather than the food.” He looks a little miffed. “You’ve not seen a doctor about that yet?” “I did but she said the benefits of the medication outweigh the side effects. She increased my dosage.” And it’s made my nausea much worse. “What are the benefits?” “It helps my body use insulin, which reduces my risk of developing diabetes.” He’s frowning. “I don’t like this. You’re going to be evaluated by another doctor as soon as we’re back in Edinburgh.” I suppose a second opinion won’t hurt. He takes my hand. “Come. I want to have a look at where we’re going to consummate this marriage.” He leads me up the staircase. We stand just inside the bedroom doorway. “Not bad.” Not bad, hell. It’s gorgeous. Wall-to-wall luxury in tones of aqua and chocolate. The lavish bed linens are calling out to me. “Come. Lie in splendor. Your husband can join us too.” “They left something for us.” I walk over and peek inside the basket and ice bucket. “Mmm … champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.” “Do you want to have them now or wait until later?” “I don’t know. I suppose it depends on what you have planned for us.” “Hmm … it’s technically our wedding afternoon and not yet our wedding night.” I hope he’s not suggesting we postpone this until later. “Is there a rule that says a husband has to wait until sundown to have his wife for the first time?” “No, but I don’t want to ruin any ideas or dreams you might have about the things you expect.” I go to him and slide my hands over his shoulders. “The only expectations I have are us in that bed together with you inside of me as soon as possible. That’s it. All the other stuff is variable.” He glides his nose down the side of my neck. “Do you want to slip into the wedding-night attire you wouldn’t let me choose?” “I’ll need my bag. Would you mind bringing it up?” “It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Breckenridge.” He’s back so quickly I almost wonder if he sprinted. “That was fast.” “An anxious husband wastes no time stopping to admire the wall color.” I take my bag from him. “I won’t be long.” “See that you aren’t.” I went with an ivory lace baby-doll top and matching G-string for tonight. I adore the lace pattern and satin ribbon sash below the bust. It’s very bridal yet has the innocent undertone my husband loves so much. I’m certain I’ve made the right lingerie choice when Sin sees me for the first time. “Bonny Bleu. I swear I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.” I strike a sexy pose with a hand on my hip. “Then my husband approves?” “Aye. One hundred percent.” His chocolate eyes never leave mine as I narrow the distance between us. What I see there tells me it doesn’t matter how many times we’ve had sex in the past. Tonight is going to be different; it’s about a husband taking his wife for the first time. He pushes my hair away from my shoulder and slides the strap of my top down my arm. He presses a kiss against my bare skin. “I can’t believe you’re mine forever.” I loosen the knot of his tie. “Yours forever. I like the sound of that.” I slip his tie over his head and begin on his shirt. He works on his cufflinks as I unfasten the front. When it’s open, I place my hands on his pecs and push the shirt away. I love his body—fit without being overly muscular. I’m not the least bit attracted to meatheads. He pulls me close and possesses my mouth while forcing us to turn in a half circle. We trade places so the backs of my legs are pressed against the bed. He’s choosing to be on top. Fine by me. I sit on the edge of the bed. I hold him hostage between my parted thighs as I unfasten his trousers. I lower the zipper and push his pants and boxer briefs away so he’s freed. I drag my nails over his hipbones, down his upper thighs. I kiss his chest before scooting backward. I spread my legs wide so he can sit between them to remove his prosthesis. I shift closer and wrap my hands around his waist from behind as he removes his shoes, pants, and lower extremity. I run my palms over his abs while kissing the upper muscles of his back. My hand drifts lower and I can’t resist grasping his hard cock. “Whoa. Someone is anxious.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 26 “Hmm … judging by how hard you are, I’d say it’s you.” “Judging by the grasp you have on me, I’d say it’s you.” “I won’t argue with that.” He turns and crawls over me. He owns my mouth again but this time, it’s much softer and slower. “Be prepared. I’m going to take you all night long—over and over until we’re so physically drained, it’s impossible to do it again.” “I dare you.” He pushes my top up and kisses down my stomach. He slips his finger into the elastic waistband of my G-string and pulls it downward. “As much as I like this on you, I love what’s underneath more.” I lift my hips and he drags my panties down my legs. He gets to my feet and pulls the G-string over my heels one at a time. “I love that you’ve left your wedding shoes on. It’s very sexy.” My heels were the most bridal thing about my wedding attire today. I thought it was a nice touch to go all out on them since my dress was so simple. They’re covered in rhinestones and pearls—certainly the sexiest heels I’ve ever worn. Sin pushes my top up and over my head, tossing it aside. His mouth goes straight for one of my breasts. He sucks my nipple, causing it to become hard. He circles it with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth again. His palm finds my other breast. He uses his thumb to rub the pink area around my nipple, mimicking what his tongue is doing to the other one. It, too, hardens. His mouth moves up my chest to my neck and then hovers over my ear. The warmth of his breath sends chills down my body. He positions himself at my entrance and I wrap my legs around his waist. He slowly pushes himself inside me and groans. “Ohh, you feel so good. Every time.” He’s moving inside me slowly. Sweetly. Deliberately. He pushes my arms over my head. His hands find mine and he laces our fingers together. He squeezes them tightly. “Into me … you see.” Those words replace “I love you” and have somehow come to mean so much more. “Into me … you see.” I squeeze my legs tighter as he pumps in and out. He releases one of my hands and moves it between my legs. I loosen my grip around his waist so he’s able to reach me better. He presses his fingers above our union and uses the tips to stroke my clit. “Does that feel good?” I adjust my hips so his erection strokes my G-spot on the inside and his fingers rub my clit in the perfect position. “Yesss.” “Good. I want you to come with me.” “Keep this up and I will. Soon.” I know he’s close to orgasm because his grip on my hand is tightening. His breath is faster and heavier on my neck. The tension inside my lower body builds. A series of rhythmic contractions begin, clutching Sin’s cock inside me. “Ohh, I feel you coming, Bonny. It feels like you’re grasping me inside you.” My climax is the onset for his. He moves his hand to the top of my head to hold me in place. He thrusts deeply inside me as I come hard around him. He goes lax after he has emptied himself inside me. Nothing in the world makes me feel closer to him. This is the first of many times he’ll take me tonight. And yes, it feels different having him as my husband. The physical act itself is the same but our connection has changed. It’s much deeper. The best ever. Now I know what that truly means. Chapter Eight Sinclair Breckenridge Bleu and I had the gift of an uninterrupted wedding night. That all changed the following morning when she got the call about Harry’s decline. Ellison was right. Harold MacAllister’s end is nearing. I’ve never been with a person during his or her last days—at least not someone dying from an illness. I’ve been with plenty of brothers who’ve passed from the aftermath of violence. But what’s happening with Harry is different. He’s dying a slow death. I can’t help but think it must be better to be taken out quickly. Is he afraid? I was both times I almost died. I’m not ashamed to admit that. But the second time was more frightening because of Bonny. I was terrified of what might happen to my lass if I left her. Harry has been my father-in-law for a week. Bleu and I have spent every day—and some nights—with him at the hospice center. I’ve made our time together count. I’ve come to know him well in those seven days—probably better than I know a lot of my own brothers within The Fellowship. I like Harry a lot. And I suspect he likes me as well. Harry entertains me with stories of his undercover days. Bleu rolls her eyes each time he tells a tale. I’m sure she’s heard them more times than she’d like. “I feel like having some chocolate cake, girlie girl. Would you care to go down to the cafeteria and get a piece for me?” Bleu’s eyes light up. She’s been so upset since Harry began refusing food. “Absolutely.” Harry’s appetite has become nonexistent. His taste buds are completely shot—an unfortunate side effect of the cancer. He no longer eats enough to nourish a bird. “Want me to go down with you?” “Stay, Sinclair. You can keep me company while Bleu is gone.” I’m expecting Harry to begin his next great tale the minute Bleu is out the door. But he doesn’t. “I sent Bleu away because I need to speak to you privately.” “Okay.” I’m curious about what’s on Harry’s mind since we’ve already had the talk about how I’m going to take care of his daughters after he’s gone.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 27 “I don’t have much longer. I can feel it coming.” I can pretend I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about. I can encourage him but I have more respect than that for my father-in-law. “We know.” “I hide the misery because I don’t want my girls to know the extent. But I’m in agony, Sinclair. The medication doesn’t touch the pain anymore and my doctor won’t increase it. He says a higher dosage will kill me. Ironic, right?” He’s doing a good job hiding the truth. But I guess he should. That’s what he made a career of. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.” “I’m in congestive heart failure. It’s a complication of the cancer. My lungs are filling with fluid faster than they can pull it off. I’m slowly drowning on my own fluids. You can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to be lying here slowly suffocating. And that’s what’s gonna get me. It won’t even be the fucking cancer.” There has to be something that can be done. “I can have the best doctors brought here immediately.” “No. That’s not what I want—or what I’m going to ask of you. I don’t want to prolong this.” “What do you need?” He sighs. “I know you, Sinclair. I’ve watched you for years and I know the things you’ve done. And still do. You aren’t afraid to end a life.” No. He can’t possibly be asking me what I think is coming next. “I wouldn’t ask if I weren’t desperate for your help. Please. Put me out of my misery. Help me die with dignity.” What he’s asking for is a mercy kill—assisted suicide. Not something I do. “I eliminate those who deserve to die. They’re terrible people who do dreadful things.” “We all deserve to die. It’s just a matter of when and how. I choose now and in a dignified manner. Not lying in this bed pissing in a bag and shitting in diapers someone else has to change for me because I’m too weak to wipe my own ass.” “I’ve never killed an innocent person.” “Then don’t think of it as ending my life. Consider it the finale of my misery.” Bonny will never approve. “Bleu won’t want this for you.” “Hence the reason I’m asking you and not her.” “She’ll never forgive me if I do this.” “Or me, and that’s why it would be a secret only we would share. I don’t want my girls to know I chose to go out that way.” I can’t keep a secret like this from my wife. “I’m sorry, Harry. I can’t do it.” “I realize this is huge. You need time to think about it so don’t give me an answer now.” He has my final answer. “No. I’m telling you now I can’t do it. There won’t be any thinking about it.” Bleu comes into the room carrying a container of chocolate cake in each hand. “One for now and one for later, just in case.” “Oh, girlie girl,” he sighs. “I’m afraid my craving has passed. I’m sorry I sent you for it.” Sadness spreads over Bleu’s face. “It’s okay, Dad. We’ll be prepared when your craving comes back.” I can’t look at Harry right now. “I’m going to step out and make some calls home.” “Tell Thane and Isobel I said hello.” “I will.” * * * I’m consumed by my father-in-law’s request. It’s all I’ve thought about all day. Harry isn’t simply dying. He’s a victim of a slow, agonizing death. The end is in sight, almost within his reach, yet so far away. I hate what Harry’s experiencing but how can I possibly kill my father-in-law? I can’t. It isn’t right. Even I know that. Bleu opens the bathroom door and the scent of her shower gel invades the bedroom. She stands in the doorway giving me a view of how she looks in one of her new satin gowns. “Like?” “Love. You look beautiful.” She comes to bed and crawls over me. Her mouth roams my neck. And chest. And stomach. It’s making its way below my waistband. “Mmm … I love my hot, Scottish husband.” She stops when I don’t lift up for her to pull down my sleep pants. “What’s wrong?” How do I say this without alerting her to how poor her father’s prognosis is? “Nothing is wrong. It was a long day with Harry and I’m having a difficult time getting him off my mind. It sort of makes it impossible to get it up when your father is in my head.” She rolls off me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.” “It’s okay. His condition is a lot to take. Trust me. I get it.” “How much longer do you think he has?” “It’s getting close,” she says quietly. “How do you know?” “I went through this with Julia, my adoptive mom. I recognize the signs but he’s hiding them from us.” Does she know? “What do you mean?” “He’s in pain. I can tell. But he isn’t admitting it because he thinks he’s protecting us.” She’s crying. “I don’t want him to suffer. I’d do anything to take it away for him but there’s nothing I can do.” She’s sobbing. I usually tell her to stop because I can’t stand it but it seems a selfish thing to say right now. This isn’t about me. If she needs a good cry, then she just does.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 28 I pull her into my arms. “Cry all you want. Kick if you need to. Scream as much and as loud as you like. Do whatever you need to do. No one is here but us.” “It feels like there’s an elephant sitting on my chest. I can’t breathe. I can’t catch my breath.” She’s sobbing harder. She scoots away and I feel her leave the bed. I get up and turn on the bedroom light. She’s standing in the corner of the room with that same wild look in her eye—like a scared animal ready to flee. “You’re breathing fine. You just need to slow it down so you don’t hyperventilate.” She’s frantically fanning her face with her hands. “I’m burning up. I can’t breathe when I’m hot.” I grab the closest thing I can find and use it to fan her. “My hands are tingling. I think I’m gonna pass out.” “You’re hyperventilating. Slow your breathing. Do it with me.” I’m afraid touching her might worsen it, so I stand before her and breathe in and out slowly, making the motions with my hands. “Do it with me, Bonny.” She’s wide-eyed and trembling. She places two fingers against her carotid. “My heart’s beating too fast.” Shit. What is happening? “Do I need to call for help?” “No. It’ll pass but I need time.” It feels like an eternity before she begins to come down from whatever the hell just happened. “It’s going away.” She moves toward the bed. I sit next to her. “What was that?” “Panic attack.” “How do you know for sure?” “I’ve been having them since I was seven. They started after my mom’s murder.” “How often?” “Sometimes I go months without one. But they come more frequently when my anxiety level increases.” Harry’s illness has her completely stressed but I’ve not seen her do this. “How often are they happening now?” “That’s the fourth one today.” “You’re experiencing attacks that bad every day, up to four times?” “Sometimes five or six.” “How did I not know this?” “I hide them.” How? “There’s no concealing that.” “When I feel it coming, I go into the bathroom and stay until it’s over.” I’ve noticed several times she’s slipped away unexpectedly but I didn’t think anything of it. “How does one feel?” “Like I’m dying. I can’t breathe. It’s like being smothered with a pillow all over again. It’s agonizing and there isn’t a thing I can do to stop it.” Bonny is stressed to the point it’s affecting her well-being. She doesn’t want her father to suffer. His condition is hurting both him and her. This changes everything. * * * We’re at the hospital by nine, as we have been every morning since we married. It’s certainly not the typical way newlyweds spend their honeymoon. But Bonny wouldn’t have it any other way. She won’t leave her father. And I wouldn’t ask her to. “Ellison and I are going to Starbucks. ’Tis the season of everything pumpkin. My favorite. Want anything?” “Aye, you know what I want.” “Dad? Care for a coffee or pastry?” “I’ll … pass, girlie.” I’m glad the two of them are gone. It works out perfectly because I wasn’t sure how I was going to swing being alone with Harry. “Bleu and I discussed you last night. She told me some things that put all of this into a different perspective.” Harry perks up. “You aren’t fooling her. She knows you’re in terrible pain and it’s hurting her. She’d do anything to take it away. It’s killing her to see you suffer.” “Don’t want … that for her.” Neither do I. “In the middle of discussing your condition, she became so upset that it triggered one of her episodes.” “Panic … attack?” Harry’s even more short of breath today. He can hardly put two words together. I can’t see this stretching out much longer by natural means. “Aye. A bad one. I’ve never seen her like that.” The attack she had in Edinburgh wasn’t like this. This was something entirely different. “She scared the shit out of me. I thought she was dying.” “Been like … that since … little girl.” “It lasted an eternity. When it was over, she admitted she’s been having up to six a day and hiding them from us.” Harry closes his eyes and barely shakes his head. “Good … Lord.” “She described how she felt afterward. It made me think about you and what it must be like for you all day long. I was lying in bed last night holding my breath. I wanted some idea about what it must feel like but it’s not the same. So my question is—are you still asking me to assist you in your voluntary euthanasia?” “Yes.” Once I consent, there’s no going back. I’ll be agreeing to mercy kill my wife’s father. “All right. I’ll do it. But she can never know.” He smiles and a most unusual expression comes over his face. I think it’s relief. “Thank … you.” “When do you want me to do it?”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 29 “Need to … say goodbye … to my … girls first.” “Of course. Do you want them to be with you when you go?” “Yes.” “Good. I wouldn’t want Bleu or Ellison to harbor feelings of guilt for not being present when it happens. Do you want to know when?” “No … I’ll live … every moment … like it’s … the last.” “I’ll make it painless. You’ll go to sleep and never know.” “You’re a … good man, Sinclair. You just … haven’t … figured it … out yet.” “Bleu is the only good thing about me.” She’s the only reason the light inside me bothers to battle the dark. “My girl … has a way … of bringing out … the best … in everyone.” It’s true. My sweet lass has brought out a whole new side of me, one I didn’t know existed. “I don’t know how she can love someone like me. But by some miracle, she does.” “You don’t … know this … but you’ve helped … to heal … her heart.” He pauses but I can tell he has more to say. “I knew it … the night you … came to … ask for … her hand.” I was positive I’d never love anyone. I didn’t believe I was capable but that was before Bleu changed everything. * * * It’s a new day—and it’ll be Harry’s last. I’m not looking forward to assisting him in leaving this life. It may very well be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m predicting the onset of an attack for Bleu when he goes—probably a series of them. I dread that as much as being the one to end Harry’s life. This is clearly his worst day yet. His breathing is much more labored, his color an ashy gray despite the additional oxygen. I seriously doubt he’d last much longer without intervention anyway. So why would I help him leave this world when he’s well on his way out on his own? He wants to die peacefully with dignity, not lying in a bed unable to move while he slowly drowns. I can give him that. I have everything I need in my pocket—three large syringes. Each is filled with a hefty dose of medication intended to deliver a peaceful death. All I have to do is wait for the right time to inject them into his IV. I luck out when Ellison and Bleu decide they’re hungry and want to go to the cafeteria. I opt to stay behind. Harry was an agent for thirty years. He’s not stupid. He didn’t want any warning of when it was coming but he knows what I’m about to do. I see it in his eyes. “Thank you.” “Go in peace, Harry.” I push the first of the three medications through his IV. “I have … a letter … for you. Top drawer … of the … bedside … table. Took me … awhile … to write it. Read it … privately.” “As you wish.” I slip the envelope into my interior jacket pocket. I connect the second syringe to Harry’s line and take my phone from my pocket. I push the medication as I make the call that is going to devastate my wife. “Bonny. I think you and Ellison should come back. Quickly.” I connect the third to Harry’s IV. “They’ll be here soon.” I’ve timed the walk from the cafeteria to Harry’s room a dozen times. I have around two minutes with a brisk walk so I count to sixty and then push the last syringe slowly over the last thirty seconds. Bleu and Ellison burst into the room half a minute later. Each rush to Harry’s side. “What’s happening?” “I think this might be it.” “I’m calling Marge,” Ellison says as she moves toward the door. Harry stops her. “No, princess. Family only.” I suddenly feel like an outsider, not fit to stay. “I’ll step outside.” “Stay, Sinclair.” Harry struggles to catch his breath. “You are my family too.” His fingers move toward Ellison, not more than an inch. “Come.” She moves to his bedside and takes his hand. “What is it, Dad?” He moves his other hand in Bonny’s direction. “You … come … too.” She does as he says, taking his hand in hers. “I’ve loved each of you differently, but always equally. Both of you have been my pride and joy but for different reasons. You’ve been the best daughters a father could hope to have.” Bleu and Ellison are sobbing, each proclaiming their love for their father. It brings me to tears. Bleu presses her father’s hand to her face and kisses it. “Girlie girl. You’ve … done good … with Sinclair. He’s going … to be … a fine husband.” Bleu’s attention temporarily turns from her father to me. “I know. That’s why I can’t be sorry for the way things have gone.” “Sinclair is … going to … watch over you.” Pause. “Be your protector … and Ellison’s … until she has … a husband … of her own.” “Both Sin and I will protect her.” Ellison looks from her father to Bleu with her brow wrinkled, her eyes narrowed. It’s the same confused expression I’ve seen Bleu wear. “Elli … never settle … for less … than you deserve.” “I never have, Dad. I certainly won’t when it comes to a man.” She brings his hand to her face. “He’ll have very large shoes to fill.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 30 Harry struggles for his next few breaths. His voice is so soft and low it’s barely audible. “I’m very tired. I’m going to rest my eyes now.” His lids close and the depth of the rise and fall of his chest shallows with each breath. I’ve watched many men die but never like this—peacefully, without fear. “Jules.” It’s the last word he utters before his breathing ceases. His face is relaxed, no longer grimacing from pain. Harry is finally at peace. * * * Bleu and Ellison are busy making Harry’s final arrangements. They’re choosing flowers, something they don’t need me for, so I decide to steal away for a private moment to read my father-in-law’s final words. “Bonny, I’m going to step out for a minute. Can I get you anything? Maybe a coffee or a snack?” She’s eaten so little the last few days. I can’t imagine that being good for her body considering the blood sugar medication she takes. She shakes her head. “I’m good.” I decide to visit the chapel since it’s quiet. A good place to expect no interruptions. That’s where I take a seat and open Harry’s letter. Sinclair, In case you’ve not yet figured it out, Bleu isn’t your typical woman. The events of her childhood caused great, lasting damage. Avenging her mother’s death is only one piece of her; she became obsessed with making sure no one ever hurt her again, physically or emotionally. In the process, she closed herself off, unable to connect with others. Until you. If you’d asked me a year ago—a month ago—I wouldn’t have chosen you for my daughter. But today is different. With the depth of your love, you’ve healed her heart. It’s a father’s hope and dream for his daughter to find such a man. You’ve come to know how easy Bleu is to love. Always remember that, even when she gives you reason to forget. Because she will. Please be patient with her when she does. I’ve heard it said that those who cannot forget the past are condemned to relive it. Sinclair, I fear the only way for Bleu to forget is to finish this once and for all. Do it for her. Help my girl forget the hurts of her past. Harry I fold the letter and return it to the interior pocket of my jacket. No worries, Harry. I’ll do whatever it takes to heal this hurt for our girl. Chapter Nine Bleu Breckenridge Edinburgh, Scotland My life has been a whirlwind the last few weeks. Amazing love. Crushing grief. I basked in the light of one while curling into a ball in the shadows of the other. In my blackest hours, Sin executed his role as my supportive husband perfectly. I needed him and he was there, my beacon in the dark. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect source of light and strength. Today marks a fresh beginning in our lives. Sin and I have come home to Edinburgh. I’m sad about leaving my sister behind but excited to begin my life with Sin. The events of the recent weeks consumed us to the point that we were unable to explore our new roles to one another. Now, I finally get to be a wife to my husband. As Sin’s wife, my position within The Fellowship has changed. Everyone within the brotherhood has expectations for me. And I have no idea what those are. Stepping into this unfamiliar part is frightening. I fear we won’t have time to breathe before our lives are thrown into yet another tailspin—beginning with our home. Sin claims his flat is no longer a suitable place to live since we’re married. He says we should live in a house and would like to begin looking for one immediately. He’s already phoned realtors and has them searching for estates with a minimum of four bedrooms. Sin’s already mentioned making the appointment with a fertility specialist. We agreed we’d see one as soon as possible but it feels like another thing we’re jumping into. I understand it’s just a consult—not the actual procedure itself—but I’m a little worried it’s something he’ll want to pursue soon because it’s what The Fellowship will want, rather than what we want. He’s so hopeful when he talks about it. I guess I might be too if I hadn’t already been counseled—by more than one doctor—concerning my poor prognosis. Granted¸ they weren’t the best doctors money could buy like the ones Sin plans on seeing. I wait for Sin to unlock the door of his flat—I mean, our flat—and shiver against the cold. He uses his foot to push open the door and scoops me from the ground. “Welcome home, Mrs. Breckenridge.” He carries me over the threshold and kisses me hard before returning my feet to the floor. Mrs. Breckenridge. I’ve only heard him say it a few times. “I like hearing you call me that.” “Then I shall do it more often if it pleases you, Mrs. Breckenridge.” He kisses the top of my head. I put my arms around his midsection and squeeze tightly. “It does indeed, Mr. Breckenridge.” “Welcome home.” Entering his building still reminds me of traveling through a time warp. An old exterior. A modern interior. I glance around the flat. Nothing has changed from four months ago. Off-white walls. Warm-toned wood flooring. Streamlined. Neat. Classy in a boring sort of way. Lacks color, with the exception of the television when it’s on. It’s a man’s defined space. The enormous flat screen says it all. “Is it as you remember?” I stand over the cocktail table. I lift copies of Women’s Health and Advanced Photographer, looking at their dates. July editions. Four months old. “Exceedingly so.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 31 “I didn’t know if you were finished looking at them.” “So you kept them?” “I knew you’d be back.” The lack of human presence in the flat for the last six weeks means it’s chilly. “I should’ve sent someone to turn on the heat.” “The cold is a good reason to snuggle until the furnace can heat the place up.” “Right.” Sterling appears at the door with our luggage. “Where would you like your bags?” “There will be fine.” Sterling pushes our bags up next to the sofa out of the way. “Thank you. That will be all for now.” “Of course, sir.” Sin turns on the heat. “It shouldn’t take long to warm up. Are you tired?” I’m beyond tired. Two flights and one layover. A sixteen-hour journey from beginning to end. “I feel like I could sleep for a week and the jet lag hasn’t even had time to kick in yet.” “Let’s go to bed for a little while.” I’m not sure that’s a good idea. “It’s nine in the morning. Our days and nights will for sure be messed up.” “They’re already messed up, Bonny. It’s three in the morning to us.” He pulls on my wrists. “Come on. It won’t hurt if we rest a little.” I’m not sure he has resting on his mind. “I will, but only to sleep and get warm.” “We haven’t been here together in months. All I want is to lie next to you and sleep in our bed, in our home.” Sounds like heaven. * * * I wake because I’m freezing. I’ve never shared a bed with Sin in weather like this but I’m learning that he’s a cover hog. I’m a girl from the South. I’m not used to this degree of cold. It’s going to become bone chilling when December arrives in a few weeks so I need to make note of my husband’s linen-stealing tendencies. He looks warm and toasty beneath our platinum bedding so I slide over to spoon him from behind. I place my ice-cold hand over his stomach and give the comforter a yank, but to no avail as it’s tucked snuggly around him. “Cold?” he groans. I wrap my leg around his body. “Mmm … hmm. Very.” He rolls to face me and brings the bedding with him, spreading it over me. “I can’t have my sweet Bonny catching a chill.” He’s holding me close, his chin resting on the top of my head. “Better?” “Much. The climate change is a bit of a shock.” “You were here during the long summer days. Winter is much different. Not only is it cold, but the days are very short. Don’t worry. You’ll adjust fine. After all, you are a chameleon.” He’s laughing at me again. Chameleon. It’s true. I was taught from an early age to adapt to my surroundings but my husband doesn’t know the true extent. I studied Sin for years. I stalked him with the purpose of using him for all I could get and then I’d toss him aside. I’m not sure he’s sorted out the depth of my plans, but it’s something I feel obligated to admit. “I watched and studied you for years.” He’s rubbing his hands up and down my arms. “I know.” He only thinks he knows. “No. I don’t believe you really do.” He pulls away and looks at me. “What does that mean?” Here goes. “I had to learn everything about the infamous Sinclair Breckenridge if I was going to infiltrate the brotherhood through you—your habits, your likes, your dislikes. I needed to understand your role within The Fellowship and how you functioned outside of it. I knew as soon as we met that I was up to my ass in alligators with the way you made me feel. I tried to tell myself you were a monster. I wanted to hate you so badly. I tried my damnedest but I couldn’t. That’s when I realized that pursuing you came easy because I wanted you desperately.” The wrinkle between his brows forms a tight V. “You knew my habits with women before we met? And you used that knowledge to your benefit?” I nibble my bottom lip and squint. “Yes.” “What exactly was your objective?” “To make you fall in love with me.” It sounds so much worse when I say it aloud. “Because getting close to me meant getting close to my father?” “That was the plan.” I can’t read his expression. “I’m sorry.” “So the whole ‘want me, wait for me, can’t have me until you are dying to please me’ thing was all an act?” “At first. But then everything changed because I fell in love with you.” He was supposed to be collateral damage. Until he became so much more. “There were so many times I thought of telling you to leave without ever looking back. I knew I was no good for you.” I’m so happy he didn’t. I would’ve been wrecked. “But you didn’t.” “Because I’m a selfish bastard. I couldn’t let you go.” Sin’s wrong. He was completely selfless. “A selfish bastard wouldn’t have taken a crazy-ass, near-death beating for me.” I’m still amazed by his decision to offer himself in my place so he could keep me. Isobel was right. I’m finally able to see his sacrifice as the beautiful show of love it was. I love him all the more for it. “Thank you, for what you did.” “I’d do it again without a moment’s hesitation. That’s how much I love you.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 32 I believe him. “I love you with my heart, body, and soul.” My favorite dimple makes its appearance. “I’m happy you love me with your heart and soul but I very much enjoy you loving me with your body.” There hasn’t been much opportunity for any kind of loving since our wedding night. Things have been far too hectic, but I plan to remedy that now that we’re home. “Me too. We have a lot of newlywed sexy time to catch up on.” “Then we’d better get on it. Rodrick covered for me while I was gone but I’m the new full-time defender for The Fellowship now that I’m back. And believe me—the brothers will keep me busy with their fuck-ups.” I suppose that means we won’t be taking a honeymoon. “I was hoping we’d have a few days to go away before you had to return to work.” “Sorry, Bonny. There isn’t time. I resumed my place as defender as soon as my feet touched Edinburgh soil.” He sucks air in through his teeth as his hand finds its way down between my legs. “So you see, Mrs. Breckenridge, there’s a chance I could be called away at any moment. It might be a good idea to christen our bed before the next summons pulls me away.” I took my jeans off before getting into bed so only a thin layer of cotton shields me from his fingers. “Sounds like a very good call to me.” He pushes me onto my back, covering me with his body, his weight pressing me into the mattress. He settles between my legs and his hand creeps down the front of my panties. His palm cups me as he glides a finger down my center. His mouth hovers over my ear and I can feel the warmth of his breath against my skin. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed being inside you.” Inside me. Those two words are enough to make my insides seethe from the fire igniting deep in my groin. I curl my arms under his and wrap my hands around his bare shoulders. “I bet I have some idea.” He uses one finger to lightly stroke from top to bottom, over and over. His touch is featherlight. And maddening. “You’re killing me.” “How so?” He knows exactly what he’s doing. “You’re being an enormous tease.” He flicks my clit in a downward motion using the tip of his finger. “It’s called foreplay, Bonny.” “It should be called torture.” “Tell me what you want me to do next.” Oh, that’s the game we’re playing. He wants me to beg. Well, I’m not above it. “Make me come.” He tsks against my ear. “You have to be more specific than that.” His warm breath feels so good against my skin. “With your mouth.” “That’s better, but still not quite what I’m looking for. Put those two phrases together and tell me again.” He’s enjoying this a little too much. “Make me come with your mouth.” “That, I can do.” He pushes the front of my shirt up. “But first I want this off.” I arch upward and he pulls my shirt over my head. “That’s better.” His lips begin at the base of my throat before moving down my body. He stops in the center of my chest and takes a detour over to my left breast. The tip of his tongue grazes the edge of my nipple, causing it to immediately harden. “You’re in complete control. I’ll do anything you want. You only have to ask.” Knowing what I want, and admitting it out loud are two different things. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to say what I really want. “Roll your tongue around the tip and then suck it into your mouth.” He carries out my request. “One or both?” “Both.” He moves to my other breast and I grab his hand, bringing it to my free one. With my hand on top of his, I show him what I want. When he’s finished, his mouth returns to the center of my chest and migrates downward. “Want more of this?” “Yes.” I hear the breathlessness in my own voice. “Then you need to tell me.” “I want more. Please.” He nibbles the skin on my stomach just above my panties. I know he wants to go down. And I want him to. But dammit, he isn’t budging. He wants me to ask for it. So I will. “Please, Breck.” “Please what?” Saying the words is intimidating. “Take my panties off.” “You’re getting closer.” “Please take my panties off and make me come with your mouth.” “Gladly.” But he doesn’t. Instead, he buries his nose in the crotch of my underwear and sniffs. “Mmm … I could almost get off just by your smell alone.” So close … yet so far away. It’s making me crazy. He dips his fingers into the waist of my panties and I think he’s going to pull them down. But he surprises me again when I feel his wet tongue saturating the crotch of my panties. The wet fabric makes everything much more sensitive. He’s definitely trying to torture me to death. No doubt. “Ohh …” He torments me with his tongue before finally dragging my cotton undies down my legs. It’s about damn time. He pushes my knees apart and grasps my ankles, placing them on his shoulders. I push the pillow away from beneath my head, tilt my chin in the air, and place my hand over my eyes in preparation of what’s to come next. In the exact moment I think the anticipation may very well kill me, he drags his tongue against me in an upward motion. Just once. “You taste so good. I could do this all day.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 33 “Then do.” He grasps my hips and pulls me down in the bed. The position sprawls my legs further apart until he has me completely spread-eagle. He inserts two fingers inside me and pumps them while his tongue flutters against my clit. The combination of the two is the best of both worlds. He’s giving the right attention to both of my most sensitive spots. I move my hand to the top of his head and grasp his hair. “That feels amazing.” I’m moving my hips in rhythm with his fingers when I hear something—the doorbell. I stretch my neck upward so I can see Sin. “Was that the bell?” He shakes his head, never looking up at me. I’m pretty sure it was. “I think it is.” He briefly stops to reply. “Don’t give a fuck if it is.” My feet are planted on the bed now and my upper body is propped on my elbows as I watch Sin’s head bob between my legs. Just the sight alone nearly brings me to climax. He places the heel of his palm just above my pubic bone and presses downward. I don’t know what it does but my clit suddenly feels much more sensitive. “Ohh … that is wonderful.” I tilt my hips upward. And hear the doorbell ring again. Sin lifts his head from between my legs and looks at me. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he groans. The bell rings a third time just before he throws the covers back and yells, “Motherfucker!” He moves to the edge of the bed and reaches for his prosthesis. “Who the hell would be showing up at our house like this unannounced? Now? We’ve only been home a few hours.” Oh shit. He’s furious. Sin is in an important role. He doesn’t have the luxury of ignoring doorbells or phone calls. If we’re being honest, he’s at the beck and call of the brotherhood. “Don’t move out of that bed. I will be right back after I get rid of whoever it is.” He kisses me quickly. “And we’ll pick up right where I left off.” I grab all the blankets, tucking them beneath my chin. One of the prongs on my wedding ring scrapes my face, a reminder I’m wearing an enormous diamond on my left ring finger. I hold my hand out to admire the outward symbol of my union with Sin. “You’ve marked me well, Sinclair Breckenridge. No one will ever mistake me for an unmarried woman as long as I have this on my finger.” I’m snuggling in the warmth of our bed when Sin returns. “It’s my parents.” He sounds none too pleased and I know why. It means we won’t be finishing what we started. That pleases neither of us. I’m in no way prepared to receive visitors. “I need to freshen up.” “It’s probably not a bad idea if I brush my teeth. And this.” He wiggles his tongue at me. I could have gone all year without him doing that. “Oh my God. You can be so crude sometimes.” “What? Would you prefer I not brush and go back out there to speak with my mum and dad while your feminine essence lingers on my breath?” Well, that’s just mortifying, even coming from him. “No. I’d rather you say nothing about my essence on your breath and brush your teeth because it’s good hygiene.” “And miss an opportunity to see you blush?” I can feel the heat in my cheeks. “Shut up and let me get dressed.” I remember all I have in the bedroom are the clothes I wore yesterday—not so fresh after a sixteen-hour journey. “Can you go into the living room and get my bag so I can change into something clean?” He goes to the drawers I used when I lived here months ago. He opens the top one and takes out my favorite yoga pants and T-shirt. “Your things are just as you left them.” I hold the clothes to my naked chest and feel a deep ache in my heart. “I can’t believe you kept my stuff.” I crawl to the end of the bed. He comes to put his arms around me. “I knew you’d be back soon.” He sounds cocky and arrogant but his confidence is one of the things I love so much about him. “You did, huh?” “Mmm-hmm.” He’s pressing his groin against me. “You know, it would only take a minute to finish what we were doing.” No way. We’ve been deprived too long to rush this. “I don’t want it to take just a minute. I’m not a quickie kind of girl.” “Aye, Bonny. I know exactly what kind of lass you are and how you like it.” “Delayed gratification, Breck. You need to learn to love it if you’re going to stick with me.” “I am. Forever.” He growls as he slaps my bare ass, causing me to yelp loudly. “Come. My parents await. They’re anxious to see their new daughter-in-law.” I make myself presentable and go into the living room. Isobel stops midconversation when I enter. She gets up from the sofa and comes to me. My mother-in-law holds my face in her hands. She kisses each of my cheeks before embracing me. “My sweet daughter.” Daughter. Not daughter-in-law. She releases her hold and Thane is waiting to embrace me next. He holds me tightly and whispers in my ear. “I knew you were Amanda’s. Rational thoughts tried to tell me it wasn’t possible but I always knew in my heart.” He releases me and holds my face in his hands the same way Isobel did. “You’re so much like her. It’s absolutely amazing.” I’m not really sure how to respond. “Thank you” doesn’t seem the appropriate thing to say. I smile instead.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 34 “Sit with us. We have much to discuss.” I take the seat beside my husband on the sofa, facing my in-laws. Thane begins. “First of all, we want you to know how sorry we are to hear of your father’s death.” “Thank you. The flowers you sent were beautiful.” Thane continues. “You may believe your only remaining relative is your sister but that isn’t true. Our son chose you as his wife. That means we are your family now.” “You’ll never know how much I treasure you embracing me as one of your own.” I might as well get my deception out in the open so we can move on. “Mostly because I didn’t come to you under the most honest terms.” “Ye didn’t come with malice in mind.” Isobel has no idea but she couldn’t be more wrong. My intentions were very malicious. “Everything you did was because you wanted answers about your mother’s murder. I can’t begrudge your deception,” Thane says. Sin told Thane and Isobel I’m a former agent. He was left with no choice after Abram uncovered my history. My in-laws also know I’m Amanda’s daughter. It was the only way Sin could explain my infiltration into The Fellowship without revealing my intention to kill Thane. It’s a huge bump in the road but my goal hasn’t changed. It’s transitioned into a new stage. I know less than I ever have. I’m back to square one on finding my mother’s killer. “I have to figure out who it was.” “Perhaps we can put our known facts together and come up with a list of suspects.” This is a strange situation to be in. Thane’s asking me to discuss my mom—his mistress—in front of his wife. It’s uncomfortable. And I don’t wish to be disrespectful to my mother-in-law. I understand Thane and Isobel’s relationship but I need to have her approval. “Are you okay with us discussing my mother?” “Of course. But I’ll step out if my presence makes ye uneasy.” I guess there’s no reason to be ill at ease if she isn’t. “No. Stay.” I retell the horrid events of the day my mother was killed and I can see the pain in Thane’s heart; it’s reflected in the expression on his face. “You have a grave with a headstone next to your mother. I’ve seen it.” “Dad’s doings. He was afraid my mom’s killer might come back for me if he believed I could identify him. He decided it would be safer if everyone believed I was dead.” “You spent all these years believing I was her killer. I swear it wasn’t me.” I wholeheartedly trust that he’s telling me the truth. “I believe you.” “I understand you didn’t see the killer’s face but do you remember anything that might be identifying?” I know very little. “He smelled of sweet tobacco and liquor. I know now it was Jack Daniels. Neither of those things helps with determining identity but my dog attacked him. There was a lot of blood so I believe he should have a significant scar on his right lower leg.” At least that much is solid. “You were convinced you recognized my voice.” “I had heard your voice many times during your visits to my mother. Her killer’s accent was identical to yours. As a child, I always assumed it was you. When I became an adult, I knew I couldn’t go on assumptions alone so I researched her connections. You were her only Scottish association.” My findings didn’t prove his guilt. It would never stand up in a court of law but I didn’t need that; I made myself judge and jury. I didn’t convict Thane based on concrete evidence. I did it using my gut. And I was wrong. I can admit my mistake now. Can’t lie. My blunder shakes my confidence. “Several of my men were in the US when Amanda was murdered but I don’t have reason to suspect any of them. None had motive. They would’ve been too afraid to cross me.” Thane may need to rethink the loyalty of his men. “Perhaps a rival, then?” “It’s possible but I doubt they would’ve taken something so precious to me without claiming responsibility.” He’s right. A rival would’ve loved nothing more than him knowing what they’d done. Whoever did this wants to keep it quiet. “Would you be willing to make a list of Fellowship members in the US during that time?” That’s probably our best place to begin. “Aye. I’ll have a list for you in the morning.” “That would be a great start. Thank you.” Isobel slaps her hands together. “Good. Now that we have that out of the way, I want tae talk about why I’m here.” I don’t think anyone is questioning Isobel’s reason for coming. “It’s not every day The Fellowship’s future leader takes a wife so we need tae have a formal commemoration tae announce and celebrate yer marriage. That bastard, Abram, robbed ye of the wedding ye should have had here with yer family but we’ll make up for it with one hell of a reception. And he will be there, front and center, smiling about it.” Abram may be there but I highly doubt he’ll be smiling. “Our wedding was beautiful, Mum,” Sin says. “And the end result is the same. Bleu is my wife and that’s all that matters.” I wouldn’t take a posh wedding in a beautiful cathedral over the one I had at my father’s bedside. It was perfect. “I’m sure it was lovely. I’m sorry I missed it. But we’ll make up for it with a reception The Fellowship won’t forget anytime soon.” Isobel removes a large binder from her bag and I know what it means. She has big plans in store.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 35 My initiation ceremony was grand so I can only imagine what she has in mind for a wedding reception. “I have an event planner scheduled tae come later this week but we need tae have some ideas of what we want before he comes.” My husband and father-in-law get up to make their escape. “This is our cue,” Sin says. The jackass I married is grinning at me. He’s laughing because he knows choosing tableware, flowers, and cake flavors aren’t my thing. But it’s something I’ll do for my beloved mother-in-law—with a smile on my face—because I want to make her happy. Isobel closes the folder once Sin and Thane are gone. “I’m ecstatic about the reception but I don’t want tae discuss the plans for it right now. I only pretended I did so the men would leave.” Thank God. “That’s a relief.” “I thought it would be.” Seems my mother-in-law knows me pretty well. “I have things I want tae tell you about the brotherhood and what it’s like tae be married tae its leader. Their input isn’t needed.” “There are times when it isn’t.” I laugh. “Ye’ve only been back a few hours but The Fellowship doesn’t offer the courtesy of a transition period into yer place as wife of a leader.” That may be the case, but I have no idea what is expected of me. There’s no map or guidebook. “I don’t know the part I’m to play. I’m lost.” “Then ye must quickly find yerself because that can be construed as instability. That’s no good for ye or Sinclair. There are those who would call you weak and use that against ma son.” I won’t be a liability to my husband. “I’m a lot of things but weak has never been one of them.” “Ye were expected tae pick up the reins the moment ye arrived. No one cares that ye weren’t raised within the brotherhood. They’ll be watching—and some hoping—for ye tae fail.” I won’t let Sin down. “Failure isn’t an option. So where do we begin?” “Always with tea, love. We have a lot tae cover.” Chapter Ten Sinclair Breckenridge Photographs. Sticky notes. Timelines. Thumbnails with strings connecting one clue to another. It looks like nothing more than graffiti covering the wall of my home office. The squares of paper stuck to the wall vary in a dozen colors. I’m sure each represents some kind of significance to Bleu’s investigation but I find no rhyme or reason to the madness. Organized chaos. That’s what it looks like to me. I stop in the doorway and take a moment to watch my wife. She’s listening to a violin cover of “My Immortal” while standing before her new mysterious masterpiece. She’s rocking from one foot to the other while chewing a pencil. I almost think I can hear the gears grinding in her head. “Well, that’s new. And interesting.” She spins around, takes the pencil from her mouth, and tucks it behind her ear. “Hey, you. Come over here. You gotta take a look at this.” I go to her, placing a quick kiss against her mouth. “Someone tastes like whisky.” “You sound surprised. I guess that means you didn’t get my text.” “No. Sorry.” She scans the room. “Guess I didn’t bring my phone into the office.” “I went by Duncan’s to take care of some Fellowship business. I ran into Jamie and Leith. We had a couple drinks so we could catch up.” “Good. I know you must miss hanging out with your friends.” I think she feels guilty for cutting into our triad’s time together. “It’s all right. I sort of like my new friend.” “You said you were tending Fellowship business. Everything okay?” “Aye. A few of the brothers have expressed interest in opening a gentlemen’s club.” “A gentlemen’s club.” Her words ooze with contempt. “And I suppose they’ll want Fellowship women to work in it?” “Of course. It would work the same as any other Fellowship business.” “I’m all for Fellowship women working to earn a living. If they choose to do that topless, that’s their prerogative but can’t we provide them other career choices besides being strippers and barmaids?” “We do, Bonny. There are a lot of options. You’re not aware of them yet because you haven’t been around long. You’ll see there’s lots of opportunities for any woman who wants to work.” She appears less defensive. “I’m glad to hear that.” Good. She seems content. I move my attention to the newly decorated office wall. “Taking up some new form of abstract art as a hobby?” “No. I met with Debra today for the first time. We had lunch and then she came over to take a look at my evidence. She helped me set this up. It’s brilliant.” Debra? “Remind me who she is.” “My dad’s former undercover partner. She quit the Bureau and went freelance. She was also my eyes and ears while I was studying you from afar.” “Ah. She’s the woman who ran surveillance on us.” “No. She’s the woman who ran surveillance on you for years and was completely undetected.” “Aye. Very true.” I can give credit where it’s due. “It was a great meeting. Not just because she helped me with this. She told me all kinds of stories from when she and Dad were partners. I enjoyed hearing about their antics.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 36 Bleu says little but she’s still mourning the death of her father. And the loss of her sister. She occasionally tells me she needs alone time in the tub but I know what that really means. She needs a good cry. She looks at the clock on the wall. “Wow. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. I’m sorry. I got caught up in this. I haven’t put anything on for dinner.” I don’t mind. We’ve been in Edinburgh a week and my sweet Bonny Bleu hasn’t stopped. When she isn’t researching the men on the list my father gave her, she’s spending time with the women of The Fellowship. She’s even offered to teach photography to anyone who’s interested. She’s striving so hard to win them over. A suggestion from my mum, I’m sure. “No problem. You need a break—let’s go out for dinner.” “Can I tell you about a breakthrough I found first?” She’s so excited. There’s no way I can burst her bubble. “Go ahead.” She points to the photo on top with three strings connected to it. “Todd Cockburn is a suspect?” He’s a pit boss at the casino. The only way his hands are ever dirtied is by money. “He was in the US during the murder and—wait for it—he worked at the same Fellowship casino as my mother in Biloxi, Mississippi. The timing is off. I haven’t worked that part out yet but they would’ve been coworkers before I was born.” I hate being her killjoy. “Your mother didn’t work for The Fellowship. Don’t you remember Dad saying he tried to convince her to come to work for him?” “You’re wrong. I pulled her employment records. She worked at a Fellowship casino when your grandfather was leader. Thane didn’t meet her until after she left and was working for a non-Fellowship casino.” That changes things. “Very interesting discovery.” “I have Debra to thank for that tidbit. I’d like you to meet her. She could be a huge asset against The Order.” My wife is remarkable. “You may not have been born into The Fellowship but you are destined to be one of us. No question about it.” “I’m supposed to have a girls’ night out with Lorna, Westlyn, and a few of their friends Tuesday night. I want to suggest going to the casino.” I know my wife. She doesn’t have to tell me what going to the casino means. She wants to question Todd Cockburn. She arches her right brow. “Your thoughts?” “You’re a card counter. We don’t allow your kind in the casino. It’s bad for business. I’m sure you understand.” She grins. “I won’t be there for the cards.” I’m not a huge fan of her interrogating Todd. “Have Debra question him.” “What would be the fun in that?” She truly enjoys the chase. I suppose I can concede and allow her a little entertainment since I know questioning Cockburn will prove fruitless. “You and the lasses enjoy your blackjack game. And don’t break the casino, please.” * * * Bleu holds the foot of the mattress for balance as she kicks out of her heels. When she’s finished, she comes to me and lifts her hair so her zipper is exposed. “Want to help me out of this?” I lower her zipper but she doesn’t let her dress fall as I’d hoped. She holds the top and walks into the closet. Damn, I hope that’s a sign she’s changing into something sweet and sassy. That’s what I have a craving for tonight. I’m almost finished brushing my teeth when Bleu comes into the bathroom. Hell, yes! She’s wearing the ivory slip gown with the ruffles—one of my all-time forever favorites. “I love seeing you in that.” “Which is why I chose it.” I finish my nightly routine before Bleu but I don’t leave the bathroom to get into bed. I stay so I can watch her. Preparing for bed together is an odd thing for me to covet but I have since before Bleu became my wife. It’s something I’ve never shared with any other woman so I suppose that’s why it feels special. “What are you doing?” The foam of the toothpaste spatters around her lips. It makes me want to kiss the minty bubbles away. “You know what I’m doing.” She rinses and spits. “Right. Because this is so sexy.” It runs a close second to the way her silky gown clings to her curves. “You already know I think it is.” She shakes her head and giggles. “My sweet, darling Breck. You’ll use anything as an excuse to get turned on.” That needs clarification. “Aye, but only when it comes to you.” I move to stand behind Bleu. I kiss her bare shoulder, watching our reflections as she melts against me. I brush her hair away from her neck, my mouth leaving a trail of kisses to that sweet spot below her ear. She tries to twist in my arms but I hold her firm. I suck her earlobe into my mouth while gliding my hand around her waist. I lower it so my hand cups her crotch, my fingers circling her through the satiny fabric. I flatten my palm against the center of her back and push. “Bend over.” She lowers her upper body and holds the vanity, palms flat. She sways her hips from side to side so she’s rubbing her bum over my growing bulge. I use my foot to tap each of her inner ankles. “Spread your feet.” I push the back of her nightgown upward. She grasps the front holding it in place with her clenched fist.
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 37 I palm her satin-clad bum. I glide my fingers through the part of her thighs and rub the crotch of her knickers. She’s already wet. That makes me very happy. And hard. I clench the waist of her knickers in my fist and pull them down her legs. They become a pile on the floor. My fingers glide through her slick cleft. She rhythmically shifts her hips, rocking against my hand. I’ve come to know my wife’s body well. This will be short-lived. She’ll come quickly. With my free hand, I reach for her chin. I grasp it, forcing her to watch our reflections in the mirror. “Look at me. I want to see your face when you come.” Bleu opens her mouth and sucks two of my fingers inside. She bites them firmly but not hard enough to cause pain. Her eyes close. “Bonny. I want those baby blues on me.” Her lids flutter open and I recognize the growing frenzy on her face. Her climax is close. She sucks harder. Her subdued moan vibrates in her mouth against my fingers. I ache to see the outward reactions of her inner body imploding with ecstasy. There isn’t a damn thing I enjoy seeing more. Watching Bleu come like this is intense. It’s arousing as hell. My cock throbs, prepared to do whatever it takes to be inside her. I one-handedly push my sleep pants down. I guide my tip to her warm, wet entrance. I enter slowly, giving her a moment to acclimate to the position. “Good?” She releases the suction on my fingers. Her eyes are still watching mine. “Yes. And now I want to watch you come.” I grasp her hips and guide them in counteraction. We master the motion and speed the rhythm. This position allows me to get inside her deep and fast. I slow because my orgasm is building. I try to prolong it but it’s useless. Bonny feels too good. She watches my face intently when I grip her hips and thrust urgently. “Come inside me. Deep and hard.” Fuck. Her words are my undoing. I fill her with a part of myself until nothing’s left. When I finish, I’m spent and empty. I lean forward and press my forehead to her back. “My sweet Bonny. When we met, all I wanted to do was fuck you. I daydreamed about it day and night. I fantasized about the ways I would do it. This one was at the top of my list.” “You got your way.” “Somewhere in the midst of envisioning all the ways I’d have you, I got greedy and wanted you to love me.” “Again, you got your way.” I pull out and she twists in my arms. I squeeze her tight, lifting her to sit on the vanity. She drapes her arms around my shoulders and wraps her legs around my waist. “You always make love to my mind and fuck the hell out of my body. Never stop.” “Not a chance.” I kiss her quickly. “Come. I have something I want to show you.” I’m nervous as I lead her to the bedroom and fetch a paper from inside the top drawer of the nightstand. We sit on the side of the bed. “I’ve been researching fertility clinics and I think I’ve found a good fit.” “You’ve been searching for a fertility clinic without me?” A deep V appears between her brows as she narrows her eyes at me. Uh-oh. She’s pissed. “Nothing in-depth—just a little simple Internet search in my spare time.” Her scowl doesn’t improve as she reaches for the folded printout. “Let me take a look.” I give her the sheet and point to the one at the top. “I found several potentials but this one in London has the highest success rate.” According to what Bleu has told me, we’ll need the most highly skilled physicians available. “Most clinics I found typically have a success rate somewhere in the thirties, up to forty percent. This facility’s standard averages around fifty-eight percent.” She arches her right brow. I think that means she’s impressed. Or interested. “That’s very high.” This isn’t new information for Bleu. She understands what these numbers mean. “Of live births, fifty-three percent were single babies while forty-seven percent were twins.” “That’s a really high twin rate,” she says, looking over the statistics. “They must know what they’re doing.” “I want to pursue this but not if you aren’t on board.” This is our decision, but it’s her body. She has to want this or it’s a no-go. “This isn’t your happy face.” She sighs. “I have mixed feelings.” “Tell me about them.” “I’m not at all prepared to be someone’s mother right now. The thought of a little person depending on me is terrifying.” She’s scared. I get it. The whole thing is frightening for me too. “I’m guessing it’s not at all unusual to feel that way. I’ll bet we could ask a dozen parents and they’d all say parenthood scared the shit out of them.” I need to remind her what an appointment with a fertility specialist would mean at this point. “It would just be a consult—a meeting to discuss our best option for having a baby in the future.” “But the other end of the spectrum scares me too. They could confirm I’ll never be able to have one.” “You mean they could tell us.” Her fertility issues are my fertility issues. We’re in this together. I put my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. “I married you knowing we might never have children of our own and I’m okay with that. We can always adopt.”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 38 “The Fellowship is going to want a blood successor. But you knew that as well when you married a woman who might not be able to give you a child of your own.” “In case you forgot, I married you anyway.” My love for Bleu exceeds any obligations The Fellowship may have for me. “Fuck The Fellowship. They don’t get a say in our personal lives.” “That’s just not true.” She sighs. “Like it or not, they’ll always have a say about each and every part of our lives.” They can say what they like. Doesn’t mean I’ll jump each time they command. “Then it’s a good thing I’ll be their leader and can tell them to shove it all up their arses.” Finally, I earn a smile from Bleu. “Because I will if the circumstances call for it.” The corners of her mouth curl deeper. “And I love you dearly for that.” I’m not sure she believes my promise but at least her mood seems to be more agreeable. “Is it all right to push forward with making the appointment? It’s possible there could be a waiting list.” “It’s probably a good idea. I’ve been having a lot of pain.” I had no idea. “Why haven’t you told me?” She shrugs. “We were getting married. Dad was dying. We were moving across an ocean. It could be any number of reasons. Pick one.” “We’re never too busy to address something as important as your health. Don’t keep me in the dark about such things again. Promise?” “Promise.” “Good. I’ll call tomorrow and make the arrangements since it’ll need to be scheduled around my work.” Bleu slides down in the bed and I move over her until she’s situated perfectly beneath me. I hover above, my weight supported by my elbows pressed into the mattress, so I can look at her face. “I’ve been told most of my adult life that I’d likely never be able to have children. After you hear it so many times, you have no choice but to believe it. I mourned it as a loss, because to me, it was the death of a dream. But I came to accept it. Now there’s a small ray of hope dancing around my heart and I’m terrified of the pain that could accompany another disappointment.” “I want us to go into this with nothing but a positive attitude while keeping in mind that no matter how things turn out, I will love you.” “I can’t believe I have this incredible man in my life with the power to possibly change my fate.” “Your fate is my destiny. Always.” Chapter Eleven Bleu Breckenridge It’s midnight on a weeknight so we’re asleep when the doorbell rings. Someone showing up here at this time can only mean one thing. Something Fellowship-related has happened. This is our life. My husband gets yanked from our bed at all hours of the night. I knew what I was getting into when I married him. And I’d do it again. Sin leaves the bed. When he doesn’t return, I get up to see what’s happening. We returned to Edinburgh three weeks ago. I’ve managed to avoid my nemesis, the devil himself, until now. He smirks when he spots me standing in the doorway. “Ah! There she is. My lovely niece, the newest Mrs. Breckenridge. Come, lass. Give your uncle a hug.” He may be a charming psychopath with the ability to fool some but I don’t mistake the contempt in his tone. If he wants to play the charm game, I’m up for it. I’m quite gifted at becoming whoever I need to be. But he knows that. “Hello, Abram.” I hug him tightly. “I hope all is well.” “I’m afraid not, love. That’s why I’ve come at this late hour.” God, he’s laying it on thick. Makes me want to puke. I hope Sin isn’t mistaking this for sincerity. “I’m sorry to disturb you. I know you’re still in the honeymoon phase but I must borrow your husband for a while. Uninvited guests have been seen at one of our warehouses. We need to secure it.” “Give me a minute to dress and I’ll be ready to go,” Sin says. “Of course.” I’m left alone with Abram. I can’t wait to see how he uses this time with me. “Congratulations on your nuptials.” Damn liar. “I don’t believe for a second that you’re happy about my marriage to Sin.” He laughs. “You are a frisky little thing. I would bet money your spicy personality directly reflects in the bedroom. Is that why my nephew was so willing to do anything to make you his?” I fight the temptation to put Abram on his knees. “You didn’t come here because you want to wish me your best or discuss my sex life with my husband.” “You’re right. I have no well wishes for you and the way you fuck is none of my concern. However, I do have an interest in what brought you to Edinburgh in the first place.” Sin says we don’t owe Abram an explanation. He hasn’t told him anything and I don’t have to, either. “I don’t know what you mean.” “Cut the shit, Mrs. Breckenridge. You’re an FBI agent who fucked your way into The Fellowship. You got my nephew to marry you. That’s no coincidence.” Abram’s spoiled. He’s privy to knowing everything about everyone within The Fellowship. Until me. He must feel very threatened by that. A threatened animal is dangerous. I probably shouldn’t rattle his cage. But I will anyway. “Wouldn’t you love to know my motives?”
The Next Sin The Next Sin Page 39 “Listen, little lass. I’ve been in this family fifty-three years. You’ve been here five minutes. It’s a mistake to think you’ll best me. You won’t win.” I grin as I laugh. He isn’t getting under my skin. “I love Sinclair and he loves me. That’s all you need to know.” “Your mother did the same thing with Thane as what you’re doing with Sinclair now.” I shake my head. “You still believe I’m Amanda Lawrence’s daughter.” “My dear Stella Bleu Lawrence … I could tell you all the details you want to know about your mother’s death. I know everything. Who. Why.” He’s bluffing. If he knew anything, he’d have told Thane years ago. He wouldn’t suddenly decide to give up the goods to a woman he doesn’t know. It’s a trap to make me admit I’m Amanda Lawrence’s daughter. But it won’t work. “I would think you’d have already shared those details with your brother if you knew anything.” I grin, calling his bluff. Sin returns and we both go silent. “Ready.” My husband comes to me and cradles me in his arms. “You know the routine.” “I know. Don’t expect you before morning.” He kisses me quickly. Nothing like what he’d give me if Abram weren’t here. “Come back to me safely.” “Always.” He moves his mouth over my ear. “Be naked and waiting for me.” Sin has a new obsession. He wants sex, the frisky kind, when he comes home from being out on business. He’s a beast. I’m not sure what’s brought it on but I like it. “Naked, wet, and wanting. That’s how you’ll find me when you return.” “Perfect.” * * * I wake to the sound of the shower running. Odd. Sin always bathes after coming home from tending to Fellowship business but never before telling me he’s back safe and sound. “Sin?” No response. I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. “You didn’t wake me when you came in. Everything okay?” “Yes.” It’s peculiar to hear him use that word. I’m accustomed to hearing “aye.” “You sure?” He doesn’t reply. I peer around the corner of our walk-in shower. Sin’s hands are pressed against the tile wall. The cascade of water hits his shoulder and runs down his back. My eyes immediately go to an angry red laceration over the left side of his lower back. It’s been freshly sutured. I’ll never get used to seeing my beloved wounded. I hate it. “I see Jamie had to stitch you up. What happened?” He’s unmoving, staring at the floor. “Go back to bed, Bonny. I’ll be there in a minute.” He doesn’t give me the answer I want but he’s acting peculiar. I think pushing him is the wrong thing to do. “Do you need anything?” “No.” I return to bed and wait. It’s at least thirty minutes before he slides in next to me. “Is everything okay?” “Depends on who you ask.” “I’m asking my husband.” “I killed someone tonight.” His tone is devoid of emotion. Sin has killed before. This isn’t news. “This time was different?” “He was a boy,” he growls. “The Order had no business bringing a boy so young in on a raid.” “How young?” “Eighteen. Maybe nineteen. I don’t know but too young to die.” He needs to talk about this. “How’d it happen?” “He came at me from behind with a knife. I couldn’t see him. I only felt the burn of the blade in my back.” He punches his fist into the mattress. “You shot him before you realized how young he was?” “Aye. I would’ve roughed him up and sent him crying to his mum if I’d realized.” “Baby. You didn’t know.” “That doesn’t change the way I feel.” It sucks. I know from experience. “I understand every emotion you’re experiencing right now. A strung-out, seventeen-year-old kid took shots at me during an undercover sting. He had every intention of killing me so he could steal the meth I had. It turned into kill or be killed, and I had no choice. He died in my arms before the ambulance arrived.” “Tell me how to deal with this because I don’t have a fucking clue.” “A shit ton of therapy. But it was my dad who got me through it. He’d been in my shoes so he understood the guilt associated with taking a young life. He reminded me often that I didn’t choose to kill that kid. I was forced. Just like you.” I move closer and put my head against Sin’s chest. “And I’m going to get you through this. Expect to hear over and over that this wasn’t your fault.” “This gets so much worse, Bonny. The boy was Jason Grieve, the only son of Torrence Grieve, the leader of The Order.” I don’t need to be fluent in Fellowship affairs to know The Order will see this as an act of war. “That means they’ll retaliate?” “Hard. It’s only a matter of time.” “What are the brothers saying?” “They’re thrilled I killed The Order’s only potential replacement leader. They’re treating me like a fucking hero. But I in no way feel like a victor.” I hear his pain in the break of his voice.